Went to Southend at the weekend. It lived up to expectations and so did the weather with drizzle turning to persistent rain. Wanting to escape the rain and to eat, we went into a restaurant where a series of mugshots were arranged in the entrance along with the legend: Eaters and Runners. Grainy pictures. How did they get there? CCTV, of course. We didn’t bother to eat there and ran without running up a bill.

Dead fishy